The days can get pretty lonely during this time of year. The colder the weather gets, the less people want to spend time outside. As the rain consistently fell throughout the day, I didn't even attempt to leave the house until late afternoon. Even then, I was only away from the house for an hour, before coming back to the cozy little studio that I live in. I stared at photos all day, editing, uploading, and rearranging files in the cloud. With the overcast grey skies dominating the day, the light hadn't changed much inside until just before sunset. Light broke through and the rain stopped. I wasn't going to have any human interaction today, save for a few text messages to friends.
I ate my dinner to the crackling soundtrack of The Beatles "Rubber Soul" vinyl playing in the background. Salad and pasta ends up being the routine, because I'll eat it all and if I don't, the leftover pasta is good for lunch the next day. The sunlight that shone through quickly dissipated, leaving me in total darkness, except for the light of my computer screen. I'd probably only spoken 10 words all day, even though the relentless timeline of the internet made me feel like I'd had conversations throughout the day.
If my words yesterday documented the importance of community, today is the opposite of that, but it's also necessary. Being by myself doesn't have the same sense of loneliness that it used to. I don't desire to seek filling that void, because in all actuality, I might have been by myself all day, but I wasn't alone. It's in those moments that the most important relationship I have is being worked on. I can't be anything to anyone without continually revitalizing my relationship with God. Even if I don't say a word, my thoughts and prayers are being lifted up. I used to spend the alone time chasing things I didn't need in my life. Now, I spend it chasing after a God that most people don't believe in, but one that I know has literally saved my life. I, am not alone. #UntilWeMeetAgainProject Day 53.